Coffee

Out of the blue, so many cups of coffee at the same time!
I don't know whether to like it or not.
If only there is no exam lingering so nearby, i would have enjoyed even more!
Well, am trying to drink the cups of coffee one gulp by one gulp.=)

Anyway, am trying to enjoy my life now despite of the exams.
At last, i think im getting back on my focus instead of the now and then 300 power of short-sightedness.
He said the building was actually very finely and strongly built.
However, they decided to empty the basement and to cut off some pillars of the buildings in order to add in some parking lots. That's why it just went tumbling down one fine day.
Had fun with couzie and his gf today.
hope they can come more often.


by the way, recently, one friend of mine who is called Vic rapped in this song called "Song Cry"
I find it pretty nice!
Have a try in it!;)







I am planning not to online for this one whole week!
So, Hopefully i can be able to resist the temptation to not touch the computer!;)
Here wishing all the best to everyone who is going to take exams!
Till then!=)
Ciao!

tangled thread in sulphuric acid

I feel like im stuck in the world of chemistry which i dislike so much!
its like being forced to be stranded in a foreign country where you don't understand a single language there!
i really see no hope in me surviving through chemistry questions during exam.='(
there is absolutely no interest in me at all towards this subject..what more to memorize all of the things inside..
i think i even like sejarah more than chemistry..which is bad..=(
felt so awful for not being able to help answer a form4 chemistry question when people thought that i am not bad in it and should be able to answer that simple question!
yes, i think it should be a simple one..=S..
instead of giving the right answer and making the person understand and leaving the person to go away with a satisfied heart for being able to understand what i teach,
the person taught and explained to me instead of what the question is about..
and then i realised that the burning on my cheeks is getting more familiar each and every day instead of the feeling of joy of being able to help out in studies of others..


looks like maybe i should turn away from the door to being a teacher..=(

*just some random tangled thread there today*

An album of reminiscences

Remembering what mumtaz said, "Buat semua benda gila yang kamu nak buat tu di sekolah sekarang!Kamu takkan alami lagi apa yang kamu alami sekarang di kolej nanti!Pengalaman di sekolah adalah yang terbaik dan paling seronok!"

I was nodding all the time at what she was saying at the back of the class.
These words were like high-pitched-notes ring telling me that "HEY!This is YOUR LAST YEAR being a student in a SCHOOL! HELLO!" I was totally awake at that time like being banged between cymbals.



And so, that was part of my reason why there is this "Freeze" thing going on in my class!
I saw it in Miss Cheryl's blog about this "Freeze-ing" activity and i found it rather amusing and fun!
So, thats where that "Freezing" was born in my class!
Its really fun seeing the teachers' confused or shocked faces and had a laugh or two with the whole class!




Anyway, the other day, my class fused with the 3 nilams girls to celebrate pn.pushpa's birthday.
it was totally a surprise party and everything sort of went quuuuuiiiiiittte well except one part where we were still Freeze-ing, pn pushpa was like saying, "Hello, Lima Berlian girls, Im going to report you all for coming to this class without permission!" We were practically trying to force ourselves not to laugh and in the same time thinking 'Oh oh!'. It was hilarious! Overall, we had a fun time pulling teacher's leg and giving her a surprise party!


In that same week too, i had done something that i will never forget. I joined my school's singing competition. It really was a last minute thing but i did not regret after that! It gave me that another type of experience being on stage singing! Although it was really scary, mind you but well, im glad that i accepted that challenge. i got to be the first runner-up while eunice got chosen for the pesta senirama! Praise God for everything!=)


The next day, went to Tien Pao's supposedly-surprise-birthday party. We planned and imagined all sorts of things but ended up she knew everything from the beginning!LOL!it was hilarious though during the planning days. Enjoyed the party and also the bullshit game with friends there. AND maybe also that prank candles! I didnt know there is that kind of candles! it was cool!


All in all, that week was totally a week full of laughter, friendship building moments and trusting moments.


Thats one chapter of my school life there!=D



p/s: i got lazy uploading those pictures here. So, those who want the pictures, just let me know through the shoutbox there so that i can send you the invitation to my photo album.

Aww.....awwwwful afternoon it was for me!

And the awfulness is still lingering in me till now ..
that was my FIRST experience of that type of awfulness..

now i can truly understand and feel for others who had went through and are going through and should be feeling much much more awful than me!
im actually trying to remember that awful thing so that it can be kept as a reminder that im actually weak..

Anyway, had a fun morning instead though and tomorrow WILL BE just as fun as that too!
...i hope!=P

.till then.

With You

tingling in confusing manner
her heart just can't take much
yet it searches whats the matter
that gives her that big punch


these few days for me are mainly about that thing. it strikes again moving me. to experience all the past again. its scary. i used to care so much even though i was really shy to tell that i care till it hurts deeply in me. they are scars for now. yet i think im cutting that scars back again. im actually quite tired to care that much. its like as if i had just gone over that stage, then im being pulled back in again. don't really know why i'm not that "light-hearted" anymore. i hope i wont lose that one thing though. well, maybe this time the operation may hurt as much as last time. yet i know maybe that's the thing i should do to go against the rubbish. maybe the flowers are singing that same song in the heart too!=)

i hope it'll heal soon and disappear so i won't have to look at that same scar again.


+simply like this picture again+

and wanna dedicate this song to these flowers!*these song reminds me of these flowers..lol*

the salt water

hidden beneath a trough.
and floated away for 22 hours.
Knowing not where i am.
covered by the crest in front.

gulping in salt water.
and aches the sore in heart.
a hissing sound it gave.
neither nice nor beautiful.

the more its left exposed.
the more it becomes like a host.
a terrible host in me.
which robbed me from myself.

Flapping through the waves.
and pushing downward.
to lift me back up.
for that one gasp of breath.

it takes more and more energy.
for that one swift of motion.
hope of straining for that white beach.
seems merely like a dream.

Clouds of the thunderstorm.
hovering just above the big sea.
only blocked by moving wind.
from releasing its many drops.

Everywhere is just so wet.
beside me, around me, and in me.
where can i turn to somewhere dry?
where can i grab the sandy beach again?

turning my head around.
in time for the wave,
the wave of water and emotion.
to strike deeply again.

hitting hard on the face.
and forcing down the head.
to that once familiar place.
of complete darkness in sea.


i drink the salt water again.

Weird angles

These few days looked normal in the outside until it became abnormal to me in the inside.
Every day situations that i go through every single time suddenly became so real.
It just looks like an outline of everything that had happened previously till now.
A deep clear outline.
Inside struggling to move in my tired body, im trapped!
There's so much to do and so many thinkings and decisions and actions to be made, yet so little time left.

Being shifted to another stage of discipline makes me really uncomfortable.
I guess God is trying to teach me something in and through that feeling of uncomfortableness.
These few days, when i look up, suddenly i think that how can i compare the most beautiful building in the world built by great men or anything else that is from men to the wonderful sky and clouds, the universe, the creations on Earth, the plants from the Creator, and also His greatness.
He is just SO worthy to be praised for all His greatness and goodness and also for who He is.
suddenly, i just feel like an ant.


anyway, sorry for my confusing entry here.