...stop at the start..

"As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife

[Proverbs 26:21]

i failed this verse today...

i just failed...

i couldn't control myself because i just couldn't stand it anymore...!

the volcano and the fire in my heart just couldn't hold on much longer and it just got to explode today...

i couldn't control it but to let it erupt and to let it hurt myself and others...

sigh...i was really in a bad mood today because of one extremely sad thing that has welled up in me for many years...

i lost in this war..

and now i ask myself...

why did i surrender to the evil side?

why couldn't i just forgive and forget it for the millionth times?

why couldn't i just continue forgiving like what God had done for me?

sigh...i failed God again...='(

and now..

the only thing i can do is to ask for God's forgiveness...